The meaning, forms of domestic violence

Meaning of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is when one partner in an intimate relationship purposely intimidates, or physically assault the other partner. According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, Between 3 million and 4 million adult women
in the United States are abused yearly by an intimate partner. About one in four women is likely to be abused by a partner in her lifetime.

A study conducted in emergency rooms and walk-in clinics reported that 54 percent of a sample of women treated in emergency departments had been threatened or physically injured by a partner.

In Nigeria the case is not different as women are being assaulted either in their matrimonial homes or in their relationship.

It should be noted that domestic violence is not constrained to a particular class of people, religious sect or tribe. But it is a threat to all individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, sexual orientation, race, religion, gender or nationality.

Forms of Domestic Violence

The abuse could be physical, psychological,emotional, sexual or the combination of all.

In Nigeria, popular Singer, Tiwa Savage and actresses like Tonto Dike, Kate Henshaw have been victims of domestic violence.

It is not always easy to determine in the early stages of a relationship if one person will become abusive. Domestic violence intensifies over time. Abusers may often seem wonderful and perfect initially, but gradually become more aggressive and controlling as the relationship continues. Abuse may begin with behaviors that may easily be dismissed or downplayed such as name-calling, threats, possessiveness, or distrust. Abusers may apologize profusely for their actions or try to convince the person they are abusing that they do these things out of love or care. However, violence and control always intensifies over time with an abuser, despite the apologies. What may start out as something that was first believed to be harmless (e.g., wanting the victim to spend all their time only with them because they love them so much) escalates into extreme control and abuse (e.g., threatening to kill or hurt the victim or others if they speak to family, friends, etc.). It is important to note that domestic violence does not always manifest as physical abuse. Emotional and psychological abuse can often be just as extreme as physical violence. Lack of physical violence does not mean the abuser is any less dangerous to the victim, nor does it mean the victim is any less trapped by the abuse.

Additionally, domestic violence does not always end when the victim escapes the abuser, tries to terminate the relationship, and/or seeks help. Often, it intensifies because the abuser feels a loss of control over the victim. Abusers frequently continue to stalk, harass, threaten, and try to control the victim after the victim escapes. In fact, the victim is often in the most danger directly following the escape of the relationship or when they seek help: 1/5 of homicide victims with restraining orders are murdered within two days of obtaining the order; 1/3 are murdered within the first month.

Unfair blame is frequently put upon the victim of abuse because of assumptions that victims choose to stay in abusive relationships. The truth is, bringing an end to abuse is not a matter of the victim choosing to leave; it is a matter of the victim being able to safely escape their abuser, the abuser choosing to stop the abuse, or others (e.g., law enforcement, courts) holding the abuser accountable for the abuse they inflict.

To the abused, You are not responsible for the violence. Nor are you alone. There are alternatives to remaining in a violent situation. These include: shelters, counseling, protective orders, and safety planning. You do not need to stay in an abusive situation.